Advice For Parents With Particularly Bright Or Gifted Children

Gifted children give parents a lot to be proud of. But a child being particularly bright or gifted doesn’t insulate them from challenges. A gifted child may struggle with emotional, social, and sometimes even academic issues. Below we’ll take a look at some of the most common challenges gifted children can face, and provide advice for parents with particularly bright or gifted children to help them support their child.

Challenges Faced by Gifted Children
A gifted child may excel in many areas, but they still encounter things that are challenges for them. Some of these challenges can be a bit surprising, but it’s crucial to be aware of them as a parent so you can be on the lookout and take action if you think your child may be struggling.

Some of the most common issues faced by gifted and very bright children include:

• Self-esteem issues. When you’re a child, being different doesn’t necessarily make you feel good about yourself. A gifted child may feel different than their cohorts, and that can lead to bullying from other children and mental health issues. Social difficulties can lead to unhappiness and have a big impact on a child’s self-esteem.
• Perfectionism. Children who are gifted tend to be high achievers and quite driven. But sometimes, they may drive themselves crazy with small details of projects or homework that they feel they have to perfect. Throw into the mix that gifted children can excel in one area but be average in another, and their penchant for perfectionism can become a real issue and ultimately bad for their health. Be on the lookout for perfectionist behaviors or even physical manifestations of the stress of feeling everything must be right, such as stomachaches.
• Issues with control. Many children who are gifted like the feeling of being in control. This is likely something you started to notice about them early on; you might feel that they’ve always been quite independent. But over time, this desire to control can lead to being seen as “bossy” by their peers, and can make them afraid to take risks.
• Unrealistic outlook. A gifted child is usually their own worst critic. You may notice that they struggle in areas such as test-taking because their expectations of themselves are so incredibly high. When they sit down for a test, those expectations may feel overwhelming and cause them to do poorly, which then leads to disappointment when they receive their final grade.
• Impatience. It’s easy for a gifted child to become frustrated, both with themselves and others. It’s not unusual to see them flustered if they don’t immediately understand something, and they’re prone to quit activities if they don’t do well from the get-go.
• Problems with friendships. A common issue many gifted children have is making and keeping friends. While an exceptionally bright child may seem as if they’re well-adjusted and mature, they may actually feel isolated, sad, and lonely when it comes to their peers.
• Issues with organization and attention. Gifted children tend to be abstract thinkers. Because of this, they often struggle with organizational skills and attention issues. To put it simply, they get bored easily, and this boredom can manifest in wandering attention or lack of organization.
• Burnout. A gifted child usually has a lot of energy and a thirst for learning, but you have to be on the lookout for burnout. Intellectual gifts can come very naturally, but all the things that come with them (such as homework, organization, and outside activities) can lead to stress and burnout.

Advice for Parents of Gifted Students
As a parent of an exceptionally bright or gifted child, you want to see them work to their full potential but also stay mentally and physically healthy as they do it. There are some things you can do to help, such as:

• Get them involved in new activities. A new hobby or sport they’re interested in can help them to build confidence and feel more like a “regular” kid. It also helps them to make connections with children their own age who have similar interests.
• Help with their goals. Help gifted children establish basic goals and guidelines for reports or projects before they dive right in. This can help steer them away from perfectionism. Also, if your gifted child is still young, try to avoid pointing out every mistake they make, and remind them to be kind to themselves when it comes to the mistakes they do make.
• Get them to try new things. Sometimes kids need a nudge to get them out of their comfort zone and into trying new things. They may be independent, but they also need a healthy way to interact with others. Perhaps they may want to tutor younger children or coach.
• Help them see themselves differently. “Gifted” is an academic term; it’s not a goal. So instead of basing your child’s performance on the standards of being gifted or using it as a tool for motivation, keep your expectations grounded and simply treat them as a kid.
• Encourage them to hit the pause button. When your child is showing a penchant for impatience, tell them to hit the pause button. If they’re feeling agitated, deep breaths and calming exercises can help them work through the frustration they may feel with themselves or others.

Featured image by Andrik Langfield on Unsplash